To Be or Not To Be
A prominent scientist asked if I would ever write about euthanasia. It was an open question along the lines of – would you be prepared to write in support of genocide; what are the ten benefits of smoking cannabis; nineteen ways to keep your house clean; the damage done by fizzy drinks; four ways to end a disagreement when you are in the wrong; why ‘ginger’ is not always a term of abuse; some consequences of falling from high ladders; two health and five social benefits of regular and frequent sex; the high incidence of poisoning in student accommodation; the sixteen reasons for keeping the band of the Irish Guards.
I could write about any of these topics but why would I?
That set me thinking about how I pick topics for writing, apart from when someone challenges me to do so, or, more infrequently, when someone pays me to write a piece.
Under this last heading, I welcome titles such as, ‘In memory of my pet cat, Marmaduke Bluebeard III on the tenth anniversary of his untimely death’; ‘my Best Man wedding speech when the bride’s family hate the groom’; ‘reasons to support the local pigeon racing club by handing in exhausted pigeons who do not make it home’; ‘a school assembly on why the headmaster was escorted off the premises in handcuffs by the police yesterday’; ‘the wording in the Ofsted report really means we are crap and why we don’t care’; ‘helping a bigot to see reason’; ‘what is the best way to kill someone without much effort’; ‘what to do when accidentally caught in the middle of a race riot’; ‘how persuade a soldier shouting abuse and threats to hit you with his rifle butt rather than shoot you’.
None of these are topics are close to my heart. All of them are rooted in some aspect of my experiences. That always allows me to add a personal touch to make the writing real. Readers like the personal, real touch.
I have an opinion on many topics and will blather on about them, or even several of them at the same time, at the slightest provocation. I will write about each or all of them until you drive me away with a stick. I am absolutely confident that readers will benefit from my opinions because what I say is the truth, reflects the facts and addresses the reality of the situation. Go with what I say and the world will be a better place, especially that part of the world I inhabit because I know that what I know is best for everyone.
In this category are my opinions on how to rescue the NHS and why politicians should stop messing with education when they know nothing about it. However, knowing what they are doing as a benchmark would disbar most of them from doing anything.
I can tell you how to sort out the EU, the RSPCA, traffic congestion on detours through Bromsgrove when the M5 is closed, how to grab money off money-sucking multi-nationals and how to develop the tourism industry in Waterford city.
Add to that list my superior insight into traffic flows on the M6, the problems with security queues at airports, the casual approach of shoemakers to men with different sized feet, how to spread butter straight from the fridge, why women take longer to pay at checkouts, how Europe would be better served if Irish women were in charge of all key decisions and what undertakers do to keep a serious face at funerals.
I have no experience of euthanasia so there is no personal touch to bring to the writing. I have not established all the facts and reasons that would support a robust presentation of my opinion in a public arena. There you have two good reasons why I have not written about it so far.
Now that I think about it, my main reason for not writing about euthanasia is that I do not know how to find the comic angle on it. I don’t write about a topic unless I can poke the silly part of it. Revealing the comic side of most topics brings out the serious message without ranting or beating down opponents. To understand the comic aspect of a serious point I have to really understand it.
Euthanasia is too serious a topic to tackle casually and without a clear understanding.
Questions can be a nuisance in the way they make me think and deepen my understanding. People should keep their questions to themselves if I am to stop my knowledge and understanding from growing.
